The Jewish Divorce Project Podcast

The Jewish Divorce Project - Episode 31: Love Languages + The Gates Divorce Question

A highly anticipated episode in which Sheva and Noam guess and explore each other’s love-languages. In addition we also identify a challenge presented in the recently announced divorce of Bill and Melinda Gates: Having everything in the world doesn’t mean you’re going to have space to grow together. What does create that space? We at the JDP think it’s the love languages that we speak to one another. And remember, it’s not only if you can communicate what you need through your love languages. But, can you understand and meet the needs of your partner through their love languages.

 

The 5 most common love languages are:

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Physical Touch

Words of Affirming

 

What are yours? You can find out at www.5lovelanguages.com

The Jewish Divorce Project - Episode 30: Big Hair, Piercings, and Zero F*cks Given

Sometimes the episode just falls into your lap. With divorce comes a great deal of transition. We’ve talked about the grief involved in divorce, but there is also the growth. As we transition through the process, we also transition into new people. Many of us mark that transition in different ways. How did you mark this transition in your life? In what way did you start to see yourself anew? Share your stories with us at TheJewishDivorceProject@gmail.com

The Jewish Divorce Project - Ep 29: Philosophy of Separation

In this week’s episode Noam and Sheva go deep into what it means to separate from people and things. Do you have a philosophy of, or a practice of separating from things that honors the experience you had with that person/thing?

Havdallah gives us a chance to separate shabbat from the regular week. Yet the ritual itself, involving the light of the candle, the feel of the wax, the taste of the wine, the smell of the spices, and the sound of the songs gives us a chance to take the beauty and the joy of shabbat into the following week so that week won’t be so mundane.

Just as in our relationships there is a break between when we might have those beautiful experiences again. So what do you take from your previous relationship that was very real and good, and hold onto it a little bit so that it doesn’t hinder you from something new, but also gives you joy in the process?

 

Naturally the conversation involved some 21st century dating terminology. So we’ve referenced them here. Clearly Noam is not as hip to these words as he though :)

"Ghosting" is when someone you're dating ends the relationship by cutting off all communication, without any explanation. And we're not talking about not getting a text back after one awkward OKCupid date, but receiving the ultimate silent treatment after several dates, or when you're in a committed relationship.

Also known as "zombie-ing," submarining is a form of ghosting where a person drops off the grid, only to then get back in touch months later—perhaps just as you were finally getting over being ghosted in the first place.

The Jewish Divorce Project - Ep: 28: Divorce, Feelings, and One Big Sh*t Show

Probably our funniest and shittiest show yet! And when we say, “shitty” we mean in the way it feels to deal with our emotions sometimes. This week, Sheva and Noam are joined by a new friend, Rachel Kaplan- a Bay Area based psychotherapist with a private practice and really cool podcast. In this episode we discuss: The journey towards healing; What it’s like to adults to have feelings and move through them; The interplay between anger and shame; and the difference between feelings as farts and shits. We had to get a little childish for such a grown up topic as emotions : ) Stick around past the contact details at the end of the episode for a related Jewish lesson- we finally got it in!

You can always find Rachel at healingfeelingshitshow.com. And yourcorewound.com for a brief emotional assessment. 

How do you feel your emotions? Where do you usually carry them? What are you triggers? How do you process and move through your emotions in healthy ways?

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others." (Marianne Williamson)

 

A Prayer for the Gift of the Body

(The Bathroom Prayer)

Blessed are You, Adonai, Our Teacher, whose presence is felt throughout the cosmos, who formed human beings with wisdom and created within us many openings arteries, glands, and organs, marvelous in structure, intricate in design. Should but one of them fail to function by being blocked or opened, it would be impossible to survive and to serve You. Blessed are You, Adonai, who heals all flesh and acts wondrously.

The Jewish Divorce Project - Episode 27: The Wilderness and Integration Episode.

In this post-Passover episode, just as our ancestors ventured into the unknown after Egypt, Noam and Sheva go for a walk through the wilderness of divorce. As you enter a new chapter of your life, potentially one that is undefined in many ways, how do you prepare? How do you make the most of it? What are you boundaries that help you stay on track? What does your wilderness look like? Is it new relationships? New patterns of living? New parenting methods? Each of us transitions through divorce in our own way and time. What has it been like for you? Share you thoughts with us at TheJewishDivorceProject@gmail.com

The Jewish Divorce Project - Ep: 26: Liberation Theology and Responding to Crisis w/ Dr. Jennifer Love, MD.

Shalom Friends! Sheva is on a vacation this week and will return next week. Noam speaks with Dr. Jennifer Love about liberation theology, responding to crisis, and how Passover can be a tool for spiritual guidance and growth for those going through divorce. 

 

One piece we forgot to mention in conversation was that the notion of liberation is perpetuated in our Tradition's injunction that every individual see themselves as having left Egypt. Liberation is not an event or action that is locked in time, but must reoccur in every generation. 

The Jewish Divorce Project - Episode 25: Passover and the Breadcrumbs On Your Soul

Passover is here! In this episode we talk about making meaning out of the divorce experience. How do you reflect on and clean out your baggage from failed relationships and past mistakes? How do you transform those crumbs into something useful and healthy for yourself?

Jewish terms that come
Erev Tavshilin- An eruv tavshilin (Hebrew: עירוב תבשילין, "mixing of [cooked] dishes") refers to a Jewish ritual in which one prepares a cooked food prior to a Jewish holiday that will be followed by the Shabbat.

Eruv - An urban area enclosed by a wire boundary which symbolically extends the private domain of Jewish households into public areas, permitting activities within it that are normally forbidden in public on the Sabbath.

Hametz - Hametz are foods with leavening agents that are forbidden on the Jewish holiday of Passover.

Bedikat Hametz - Checking and often clearing the house of any foods with leaving agents; or crumbs of those foods from places in the home where food has been eaten. The ritual usually occurs on the even of the holiday.

Biur Hametz - Burning the hamlets found in the home. Usually occurs on the morning of Passover

The Jewish Divorce Project- Ep: 24: A monster of an conversation filled with Monster Insight!

This week the JDP team is joined by a good friend, Avi Steinhardt and his puppet friend, Louie- a blue monster. In this monster of an episode Louie helps our hosts and audience members consider divorce from a kid's perspective. Avi speaks to us as a child of divorce, now having perspective as an adult in his own marriage and family. And Louie tries to reach the inner-child in all of us, so that we get back in touch with the necessary parts of ourselves that may be hidden away. 

Check out more Monster Insight videos on Facebook, Youtube and here: https://www.instagram.com/monsterinsight/

 

The Jewish Divorce Project - Ep 23: Vulnerability, Clubhouse, Divorce Trauma and New Friendships

They just keep getting better! It's appropriate that this episode is our 23rd. Like Michael Jordan in his prime, this episode is deep, real and raw. It's only about 21 minutes long, but we go far in a short period of time. 

How do you enter into any new relationship when there might be some divorce trauma-based fear about how those relationships might turn out? How much do you share with people before its enough or even too much? What does vulnerability look like to you? If you were to enter into a new relationship with someone, what would you want them to know about you that would be true and show how imperfect you are?

The Jewish Divorce Project - Ep: 22 - Mazal Tov! You Got Divorced!! - The 6 Stages of Grief in Jewish Divorce

The Grief Episode. Noam and Sheva discuss the grief and mourning process in divorce. The six stages of grief in Jewish divorce are: denial, anger, braganing, depression, acceptance, and celebration.